


Cherry Wine

by insightful_username



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Childhood Friends, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, Hurt, Hurt Park Chanyeol, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, NO DEATH, Oh Sehun is a Good Friend, Park Chanyeol-centric, i don't actually know what im doing, not sure about the rating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 11:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15640005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insightful_username/pseuds/insightful_username
Summary: Chanyeol was in love. He sat stiffly, his back arched slightly in a seemingly supercilious manner. As his hands wrapped around a half empty glass, he waited until he stopped believing it. Even though he knew he couldn't. And he found himself back in the arms of his lover.





	Cherry Wine

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning: this story basically revolves around themes of domestic abuse, both mentally and physically, though not sexually. it also has hints of depression and anxiety.

  


Chanyeol sat in a seat, alone in a crowd of people. He wondered where his husband, who may’ve been an ex even though Chanyeol had yet to have received divorce papers that may or may not've come, was while he was sitting on a seat that was uncomfortable and hard. It sent his mind back to his past self.

 

He remembered confessing it to who was then his best friend and eventual significant other. Even years later, he remembered the rigid confession, which had turned more into Baekhyun confessing rather than him. It was awkward and rigid, yet it set them up for what he’d hoped was a perfect relationship. And it was, though not how he’d envisioned it to be.

  
  


~~

  
  


“Hey, what’s up?” Baekhyun asked as Chanyeol brought him into a janitor’s closet.

 

Chanyeol merely nodded in a quick apology to the janitor who had already been occupying the space. The janitor waved it off and exited without further question, no one wanted to be at the foreground of a spur-of-the-moment decision made through a haze of deep teenage angst.

 

Once the adult exited, and after the door sealed shut with a resounding thud that shook the rickety shelves and the items contained upon them, Chanyeol began as a gradual build up to his ultimate confession. He was Baekhyun’s best friend, after all.

 

“Yeah,”  Baekhyun’s forehead crinkled with confusion etching onto his gentle features. Of course it was suspicious, the entire setting and the sudden questioning of a lifelong friendship. Baekhyun continued, “What of it?”

 

Chanyeol knew he responded just a smidgen too quickly, words pouring out like a self-siphoning liquid, but in his hardly pubescent mind, this confession meant life or death. His thoughts ran all around his head until he was dizzy to follow any of them. He questioned their relationship, at times, but none more than at this moment.

 

Baekhyun lifted an eyebrow, he let out a half chuckle and half cough. He stood up and appeared to almost leer at Jackson, “What are you doing, confessing your undying love to me?”

 

Baekhyun had a consummate skill at reading Chanyeol. It was a terrifying power even the taller’s parents never got close to possessing. Their friendship was instantaneous, a click and they became the closest friends in the world. But with Baekhyun’s much more outspoken and borderline aggressive personality forced Chanyeol to stay confined within his own shell, oblivious to anything and everything outside of his and Baekhyun’s friendship.

 

Chanyeol’s mom confessed her concerns to him midway through his freshman year, just as Baekhyun’s destructive habits began to wreak havoc in their school’s halls. Chanyeol, defending his closest and only friend, adamantly denied the accusation, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

 

His heart heavy with reminiscence, he nodded and looked to the ground. Baekhyun pushed himself from the shelf he was leaning on, causing the various bottles of cleaning liquids to teeter dangerously close to the edge of the dusty, grey shelf. As the bottles rattled to a stop, Baekhyun finally neared Chanyeol.

 

He felt the moment Baekhyun had come in front of him before he saw the man, his head was still aimed to the ground in front of him, at Baekhyun’s growing shadow until it fully encompassed his spotty vision. Tendrils of an earthy, slightly citrusy scent drifted into his nostrils while a calming warmth radiated onto his already warm face. Baekhyun’s thin, slightly chilled digits, which felt cold in comparison to his ran, over his jaw and lifted his face. Despite being several inches shorter than Chanyeol, Baekhyun somehow dominated over him.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Baekhyun asked, his soft voice floating up like hot air rising to the sky.

 

Chanyeol nodded, and their lips collided, far gentler than Chanyeol would have ever expected.

  


~~

  


Breaking through his teenage angst, and into the arms of a loving relationship, the rest of his junior and senior years passed in a breeze. Still armed with a young relationship, they nurtured it by attending the same college.

 

Immediately facing their different roommates, they managed to work their way together, a secret Baekhyun never told Chanyeol. Mere weeks into their freshman year of college, they’d convinced the administrators to let them live together, off campus.

 

Facing the adult world head on opened his eyes to insecurities he never knew existed. And first was his attentive stare to anyone at all. He’d never learnt proper social etiquette growing up despite his older sister’s words of advice, so his rule of eye contact unless otherwise stated was the first of many habits to be broken.

 

And it began his first winter back home after having become an adult.

 

“What happened?” his mother was all but livid. So much so, Chanyeol had bitten his tongue at her sudden shout. She took his face in her hands, forcing the hood over his head to fall limply back onto his back. She ignored his wince and began speaking again, “Was it _him_ that did this?”

 

Her voice was so venomous, Chanyeol was shocked he hadn’t died on spot. He shook his head in an ardent opposition to the words his mother had said, even if it were true. His love seared holes into the growing balloon of wrongness growing in his gut, despite his memories

 

The minor contusion was his own fault for being unable to communicate properly. He was sure of it, and no amount of opposition from his mother would’ve stopped his love.

  


~~

  


Chanyeol nearly immediately forgave Baekhyun when he greeted Chanyeol at the door with a small red box and a soft peck on the cheek.

 

It was an odd, wordless exchange where Baekhyun, warm from the heated dorm room, sidled up against Chanyeol’s icy frame. The kiss on his lips were what made him forget, his cold lips melting into the expanse of his lover.

 

Chanyeol couldn’t remember if he wanted it, yet all he remembered was waking up naked, the sheets enveloping his body like a mother’s comforting grip around her baby’s body. The warmth made him momentarily forget the pain all around his body.

  


~~

  


His mother was always concerned for his and Baekhyun’s relationship, and when she found out him and Baekhyun were planning to be more than high school and college sweethearts, she was livid.

 

“I’m not letting you do this to yourself, look at you!” it wasn’t meant to be rude, but it managed to cut deep into his fragile psyche. It went beyond his contusions peeking over the mountains of concealer lying in heavy strokes around his face, and into his perpetually cracked lips and awkward posture.

 

“You’re wasting your life for nothing, he’s not good for you, and I won’t allow it,” he always followed the saying ‘mother’s always right,’ yet with him and Baekhyun, he couldn’t think she was anywhere further from the truth. Baekhyun always defended their relationship, and Chanyeol was available to do the same.

 

They were both standing their ground, Chanyeol’s stance uncharacteristically firm with a newfound contempt for his mother. It didn’t help when he was immediately knocked down by an icy pain that seared his face with shame. HIs mother’s hand was poised up in the air, her sharp gaze softening, but the words came out before she was able to stop them, “I’m not letting you ruin your life for nothing. You can’t see him again, and that’s final.”

 

There was really nothing stopping him from packing away the remnants of his items not permanently etched into the memories of their well-worn house, and never returning. But he was so tired in that moment, he excused himself quickly to his room and vowed never to return once he finally rid the house of his existence.

 

And it was one of the only promises to himself he actually followed through with, verbatim. Baekhyun helping him made no difference to the result, it helped him continue with his goal. And that was the last he’d seen of his mother.

  


~~

  


Chanyeol had gotten a job at an impressive business before purchasing an apartment for the both of them. It was after the two of them ran away— eloped to a courthouse where they merely filled out the documents— to the other side of South Korea without approval from either of Chanyeol’s parents.

 

It never stopped the bleeding, though. As he progressively felt stupider and stupider, he was rewarded with so much more. It was pavlovian, where he was the kicked dog and Baekhyun was his owner.

 

With their time together, Chanyeol had learnt to cover his bruises and contusions with the gift he was given from Baekhyun back in his sophomore year of college after he’d returned from his parents’ home, a full coverage concealer. Other lacerations and abrasions were much harder to cover, yet with painkillers and a thick sweater, they effectively disappeared from the world, invisible to all but him.

 

The numbness replaced his pain, and instead filled him with a sense of dread that consumed him whole.

  


There were times when he deviated off the path of his typical routine. One particular day, when Baekhyun was home, Baekhyun squinted his eyes suspiciously. The older’s stare bore holes into Chanyeol’s damaged façade and left him feeling so much more tired than Baekhyun looked.

 

It was the familiar character of his college roommate that brought his attention to the scent of booze staining the air with a thick and dingy smell.

 

“Where were you?” The slur ever-present in the man’s voice melded the words together until they sounded like audible mush into the expanse of their house, “I told you to be home by dinner.”

 

Chanyeol never liked being late, yet overtime somehow managed sneak carefully into his careful routine. He admitted it in a burst of faux confidence that overrode his timidity.

 

Baekhyun shooed away Chanyeol’s defense with a, “That doesn’t matter,” and Chanyeol believed it. It was his fault he was so stupid, and it sent him reeling down to the ground.

 

Chanyeol needed to find a time to buy more of the concealer.

 

~~

  


For a while, Chanyeol was the only young adult in the office he worked at, and it was getting stuffy with all the middle-aged men who looked like they’ve seen better days. That is, until he met a recent graduate, someone two years his junior, who’d graduated from a college not too far from his own. With his two whole years of additional knowledge, Chanyeol was hardly qualified in lowering the young man, Sehun, into the jaws of his job. Surely enough, they were paired together for a project.

 

“Hey, would you like come over to my place for our… thing?” The younger man was unfairly intimidated. Even though Chanyeol had a few centimeters on the man, he was the furthest thing to be intimidated of, but it wasn’t like he knew what they said to the poor man. Sehun scrambled through his bag and eventually into the pockets of his pants, “Here, if you want to put your number in, I’ll text you.”

 

Without a second thought about his husband—they got the rings to prove it—he easily entered his phone number. No more than a few seconds later, his phone dinged.

 

**_Unknown number: Hello!_ **

 

**_Unknown number: This is Sehun from work._ **

  


~~

  


Time ticked by and the two workmates grew closer as friends. It wasn’t nearly as immediate as Chanyeol’s relationship with Baekhyun, yet it was much faster than Chanyeol was used to. He was never good at making friends, despite peers intermittently speaking to him in the halls during his years of schooling.

 

Chanyeol had to stay late for an entire six day workweek, and of the six days, he saw Baekhyun for only two of them. Once on Monday and once on Thursday. And of those two days, Baekhyun was sober for one of them.

 

He didn’t want to assume for the worst, yet there was a small inkling telling him his lover was with someone else, likely dirtying their sheets. Chanyeol was only jealous, wishing Baekhyun was still by his side.

 

“Yeol, what’s poppin’?” Sehun asked casually, as if they were two friends in high school who’ve just recently reunited after having not seen each other for an entire summer. Chanyeol shrugged, not looking up from his computer. Sehun frowned, “We can finish it another day, we’re _way_ ahead of schedule.”

 

And before he even realized it, he was naked in his friend’s bed, with Sehun on top of him.

  


He felt nauseous, the guilt eating him alive. He haphazardly stumbled from Sehun’s apartment, in a near drunken stagger. He wished he was drunk, because he’d eventually be able to forget about his misdeeds. He couldn’t begin to think of what would happen to him.

 

Yet when he arrived back in his apartment, he found it empty and cold, as if Baekhyun hadn’t even been there. Chanyeol let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and managed to relax.

  


~~

  


Baekhyun made up for his absence with sex. And Chanyeol managed to forget all his wrongdoings, and fell even harder for Baekhyun, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach that had sunk into a pit in his stomach.

  


~~

  


“Yeol, can we talk about something?” Sehun appeared in Chanyeol’s office’s door weeks after they’d begun avoiding each other. Chanyeol didn’t look up from his computer, he couldn’t bring himself to. He excused himself gingerly and made his way to the office restroom.

 

From his office door, he heard his friend call out, “I’m sorry, okay? I just wanted to say that… never mind, I’ll talk to you after work.”

 

Chanyeol pretended to ignore the sound of desperation in Sehun’s voice and walked into the restroom, and also ignored the contusions that were peeking out from the collar of his button-down.

  


“Yeol!” Sehun called out after work, running like someone who’s just missed their bus in the morning for their daily commute. He stopped just short of Chanyeol and dragged the latter to the alley between their office building and a large shopping complex, “I wanted to talk to you.”

 

Sehun was visibly disheveled, his hair a mess after having ran against the wind, and his tie loosened haphazardly to give him leeway to breathe. He was panting against the dirty wall.

 

“Jesus, you walk fast,” Sehun straightened himself and put his hands in his pocket, He smiled sheepishly, “Look, I’m sorry if _that_ made shit awkward.”

 

Chanyeol shook his head no and smiled shakily.

 

“It kinda made me think that I like you, more than just a friend,” he admitted as if they were talking about weather. He shrugged, “But I dunno.”

 

The confession made Chanyeol weak. He apologized, and confessed he already had a lover. Rather than making Sehun back away, the young man frowned.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to attempt some sort of secret liaison, but hey, if you need anything, I’m only a text away,” Sehun spinned around on his heels and walked away, leaving Chanyeol confused.

  


~~

  


Three years after they’d graduated college and after they’d gotten a house of their own, Chanyeol was shocked with an impromptu proposal.

 

“Can you believe this? My parents say we don’t actually love each other,” Baekhyun exclaimed, exasperatedly running a hand through his almost rose gold hair, which fell gracefully over his forehead. For a split second, Baekhyun looked angelic, and the moment after, he was absolutely livid, “You like me, right? You think I like you, right?”

 

Baekhyun’s voice rose tenfold from when he’d first begun to complain. It startled Chanyeol, but he knew he couldn’t disarm the man easily, so he just listened

 

“I mean, I know I’m not always the best, but you know I love you, right?” Baekhyun admitted. He pondered, “How ‘bout I take you to my parents, and then we can tell them we’re getting married.”

 

Chanyeol couldn’t ignore the last part of Baekhyun’s rant. He questioned his lover about it to which Baekhyun promptly ignored and beckoned for Chanyeol to follow him.

 

“We’re going to prove them all wrong,” Baekhyun whispered into Chanyeol’s ear, his voice mellifluous, making Chanyeol fall in love all over again. Yet Chanyeol couldn’t stop thinking of the words Baekhyun had uttered to him. He’d never thought of marriage, and as he drifted into his mid-twenties, he had never considered marrying Baekhyun, even after a nine year relationship.

 

He needed to tell someone, yet the only friendship he’d been able to maintain was with Sehun, who had transferred to a case over in China, and who he hadn’t talked to for what felt like years. But when he remembered Sehun’s words to him after their one-time liaison, he whipped his phone out.

 

**_Hey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I need your help._ **

 

Sehun replied nearly immediately.

 

**_Sehun: what’s up_ **

 

**_My boyfriend kind of just proposed to me._ **

 

**_Sehun: what do you mean_ **

 

**_I dunno, but my boyfriend just said I’m to meet his parents to announce out marriage?_ **

 

**_Sehun: omf, you’re in deep shit now_ **

 

**_Yeah, thanks for the help._ **

 

**_No, but seriously, I dunno if I’m ready._ **

 

**_Sehun: If you don’t want to, tell him_ **

 

**_Thanks, Sehun._ **

 

**_Sehun: no probs, bob_ **

  


And within days, a gold band was wrapped around his ring finger to serve as a bitter reminder of the sudden shift in their relationship. Every time he looked at it, the butterflies and the pit in his stomach intermingled to create an uncomfortable nausea.

  


~~

  


They sat awkwardly, him and Baekhyun side-by-side with Baekhyun’s parents directly across of them. No one moved to speak or do anything. It was a stalemate where neither side could even think of anything to say.

 

Chanyeol nervously glanced over to Baekhyun, who squeezed his leg. Chanyeol bit his lips to prevent from flinching and forced himself to relax under Baekhyun’s grasp and smiled shakily.

 

“Well, it’s nice to see you again, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun’s mother spoke first, her voice as gentle as Chanyeol had remembered from his childhood. She definitely sounded older, her voice frail and thin. Chanyeol nodded curtly, straightening himself.

 

“So, mom, dad, we wanted to announce that we’re now officially fiancés as of two weeks ago.”

 

Baekhyun’s parents looked to him incredulously, then to Chanyeol, and to each other as if they were in a poorly made, over dramatic comedy show. They floundered, clearly flustered at the news.

 

“Honey, I think you’re being a bit asinine with this,” the older woman fulminated, her voice tremulous with ire.

 

“No, mother, we’re in love!” Baekhyun exploded.

 

“Son, you’re not ready to do so.”

 

“I’m twenty-five! Let me live my life!”

 

“So what?!” his mother’s voice rose as she stood to stand over Baekhyun. Her petite form managing overpower Baekhyun despite their height difference. Her leer sent shivers down Chanyeol’s spine despite not even being directed towards him. Baekhyun’s father put a hand in the crook of her elbow, holding her back before she leapt onto Baekhyun. She began speaking again after brushing his hand off, “You can’t even take care of yourself, look at you!”

 

“So!?” Baekhyun yelled, his voice cracking under the pressure of a semblance of desperation, “Chanyeol’s here for me!”

 

“And what if he’s not there for you? What will you do then?” the older woman took skeptical glance over at Chanyeol before redirecting her attention at Baekhyun, a strange fire dancing beneath aged eyes.

 

“I’ve survived seven years without you,” The rawness of his voice disappeared into the wind and he returned his voice back to his natural tone, albeit hoarse from his onslaught of vocal strain, “We’re getting married whether you like it or not.”

 

Chanyeol wrapped his hands around Baekhyun’s rigid figure as an endeavor to calm the man. Whether it actually worked or not, Baekhyun visibly relaxed, and leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Chanyeol’s lips.

  


~~

  


They were married within weeks.

 

“Yo, Yeol! Congrats, bro,” Sehun said after Chanyeol slid into the seat across from the younger man. Baekhyun allowed him to meet with Sehun under the requisite of the two meeting as work partners and nothing else. Chanyeol didn’t have any qualms about it, his heart was devoted to Baekhyun after all. Him and Sehun were nothing more than a short step above workplace acquaintances, and that’s the singular thing he’d admitted.

 

Chanyeol smiled, and offered a small show of gratitude in passing.

 

The dim overhead lights and the heat in the corner of the restaurant they sat in was a mocking reminder of his first date with Baekhyun. The same dreary atmosphere, a dimmed warm white light to expose every small imperfection in his skin, was a cruel reminder of his awkwardness after having conveyed his feelings for the man.

 

If Sehun saw through his guise of nonplussed-ness, the man didn’t point anything out.

 

“So, how’s it feel like to be a married man?” Sehun smirked, seemingly oblivious to Chanyeol’s arousal of embarrassing memories and doubt, “I kid, I kid. Anyway, how’s life been treating you?”

 

Chanyeol answered truthfully; it was amazing, better than he’d ever wanted it to be. He said it as his knee-jerk reaction was to rub at the tender bruise riding up his arm.

  


\---

  


A glass of cherry wine spills,

It's deep, purple-tinged burgundy staining the pristine, white tablecloth.

It blossoms out in gentle shades of a dark purple and stains,

Like the wings of a butterfly that had just come out of its cocoon,

Like the bud of a rose maturing into a beautiful flower.

 

It sends the glass rolling

It rolls, and it rolls, and it rolls until it hits the ground,

Shattering with a loud and resounding crack.

The liquid is sweet and decadent.

It’s beautiful yet chaotic.

It’s him.

  


\---

  


Baekhyun and Sehun were amazing pillars for support. Their sturdy rocks kept his weak roof standing even with the shifting of tectonic plates. They were his comfort and his driving forces.

 

Even with the colors that stained his body in shades of yellows and greens and blue, Baekhyun remained his pillar. That was, until a dull and dark day was cut in one fell swoop and he began to crumble once more. Baekhyun, in his short glory, stopped him on his way in.

 

Sehun was gone, not physically, but from his life. At least his and Sehun’s brief hangouts at a local coffee shop after work. They still mandatorily saw each other at work, still being some of the younger employees in their office building.

 

A pillar fell before Chanyeol even had the opportunity to brace for impact.

  


~~

  


It was a late October or early November day when Chanyeol was reminded of their high school romance again. The flame of his love only grew from then. Baekhyun hardly had a high paying job, having gone to college for filmography. Despite it, there they were, flying out to go on an impromptu honeymoon.

 

Chanyeol had no qualms about it, having been flooded in a deluge of work, and just wanting an escape from his stress. He didn’t have to worry about self-inflicted injuries either.

  
  


A week or so after their return from their vacation, Sehun had showed up to Chanyeol’s house unannounced with a couple other colleagues Chanyeol vaguely recognized, but had never actually spoken to. It was an unwelcoming and unwarranted interruption on the surprise visitors’ parts, but Chanyeol needed to diffuse the situation.

 

It wasn’t like the couple had any power to stop him, he had showed up while Chanyeol and Baekhyun were celebrating on their own, in bed. Baekhyun’s voice a hush whisper of sweet nothings as he coerced the clothes off Chanyeol. His thin fingers danced along Chanyeol’s bare skin like water nymphs drifting gracefully across crystalline water and sent shivers down the tall man’s spine. The breadth of his skin rose with horripilation as the nimble digits tugged at the elastic of his undergarment.

 

Then came the knock at the door, and as if they were experimenting teenagers, they jumped apart. They’d initially intended to disregard the noise, but Sehun and company's incessant knocking continued until him and Baekhyun acquiesced and opened the door.

 

After a good hour of forced enthusiasm and half-hearted birthday wishes, the gaggle of men finally bid their goodbyes to the young couple.

 

Baekhyun’s gaze was anything but amused, despite the gentle smile that graced his young features. Chanyeol stood as straight as a pillar, still dumbfounded at what had happened. He didn’t know what to do until Baekhyun began to walk away, his gait a comfortable confidence.

 

Chanyeol straightened his spine further, hoping to exude a confidence he didn’t have and attempted to stop his husband.

 

In a brief pause in steps, Baekhyun turned around and smirked a deceptively slick smile, “Can we try something new today? I’ve been waiting since the interruption your… friends gave us.”

 

They resumed their actions in bed, yet the warmth no longer felt as warm. And the once comforting sweet nothings became a gag and a tight bonding. It made him feel dirty, yet the look of Baekhyun with an angelic afterglow sleeping next to him made everything okay again.

  


~~

  


Seven years after their college graduation, and two years after they’d gotten married, Chanyeol began to question his feelings again.

 

“Why the fuck were you out with him again!?” Baekhyun seethed, smoke practically pouring out of ear in a dark haze that consumed the both of them in a cruel tempest. It was admittedly Chanyeol’s fault for having gone out with Sehun again, but he didn’t think it was fair, “I told you, he’s no good for you!”

 

Sehun was still a bright young man, and while he had been Chanyeol’s friend ever since they first worked together. And despite their closeness, he never thought of Sehun as anything more than a friend—he loved Baekhyun too much.

 

“Why do you keep defending him? Do you prefer him over me?” Chanyeol was quick to protest, yet it felt wrong against his tongue. It was a foreign language he couldn’t quite speak correctly, but knew well enough to speak. Baekhyun was irate and mocking, “Don't act like I can't read you, _Yeol_ , don't forget I've known you for longer than you can even remember.”

 

Baekhyun’s lithe frame sandwiched Chanyeol between him and the wall. He instantly reminded Chanyeol of their standoff between them and Baekhyun's parents. With his cold words and hotly intimidating presence, Chanyeol felt like glass rapidly going from hot to cold.

 

“You’re nothing,” the two words stung like salt to an open wound. Chanyeol bit back a wince and attempted to level an intimidating look back into Baekhyun’s eyes, attempting to mask his momentary doubt with a faux confidence that couldn't even fool young children. Baekhyun lifted an eyebrow with a smirk, “Yeah, you're nothing. But with me, you'll be something.”

 

Chanyeol believed every word Baekhyun had uttered.

  


~~

  


“Uncool of you to completely block me out of your life, Yeol. Don't forget I know where you live,” the casual statement that sounded like a threat against Chanyeol and his livelihood didn’t achieve a semblance of genuinity and was spoken more as a casual conversation between college fraternity brothers. The taller male put his hands in the air while he muttered a half-assed apology. Sehun, not believing him for a moment, mimicked his and Baekhyun’s showdown not too long ago, yet he wasn’t as intimidated. He was used to it, “What’s been going on with you, man?”

 

Chanyeol could do nothing but flounder for a split second before shrugging, turning to his momentarily forgotten laptop. He busied himself with a game he'd downloaded, probably illegally, off the deep web. His desk was positioned away from the entrance, and he prayed he at least appeared to be far too busy for this sudden conversation.

 

Sehun saw through his poorly made guise as if it were nothing but thin air. And he didn’t know whether he should’ve been thankful or terrified.

 

“What happened?” Sehun finally spoke after a brief moment of silence. His voice was several times softer, and much more hesitant than Chanyeol had ever heard. It was gentle enough to remind him of his mother’s calming hums when he'd asked her to sing him to sleep with a lullaby, but didn't quite remember the lyrics. And for the first time in years, he let himself think of his parents and all that he'd done to them and just how right Baekhyun’s words were.

 

His façade of placidity had shattered, blowing away in the light wind of his oscillating fan. It caused a disparity between his body and his fingers, which laid on the heated keys of his keyboard. The disparity was numbing.

 

“A-are you okay?” Sehun stuttered, his voice tremulous with anxiety. His voice wasn't pitying by a long shot, his words coming out carefully but kindly.

 

Chanyeol stood up abruptly, shaking his desk and it's contents precariously. His swivel chair glided to the edge of his chair mat before his feet fell flat on the ground. His body told him to run. He needed to run. The small fan provided an iota of aid for his troubled breathing, so he had to leave.

 

He excused himself, stumbling through the numbness in his body. His clumsy feet sent him sprawling to the wall across his office door, between crawling to his destination and using the wall as a crutch, he stumbled across the wall as quickly as his numb feet could take him without falling over completely.

 

Gasping for breath, he managed to rip through the door of one of the two bathrooms on the floor which they all shared. With no disregard for if there was or wasn’t anyone in there, he nearly collapsed to the ground with in a state between consciousness and syncope.

 

He took in two gulps of air, though it did little to ease his nerves. At the feeling of cold air scraping against his dry throat, he coughed, forcing what little air he had in his lungs to escape. There was a black vignette eating at the corners of his vision, surrounding him until he couldn’t feel anything anymore.

 

“Whoa, Yeol. What’s wrong?” Sehun’s tone was just different enough from his usual brusque speaking style that Chanyeol knew the man was scared.

 

Chanyeol was floating before momentarily losing consciousness. But Sehun was still there when Chanyeol regained consciousness, gently combing his fingers through the man’s hair.

 

They ended up laying, _Fault in our Stars_ style, on the dirty tiles of the office restroom. And instead of looking up at a beautiful navy sky with stars that speckled the sky like various paintings by Jackson Pollock, they instead looked up at the distastefully stippled and questionably stained ceiling.

 

Despite still being unable to fully breathe properly, Chanyeol managed to momentarily relax.

  


~~

  


“Where were you!? Were you with _him?_ ” The conviction and pure disgust in Baekhyun’s voice toed the line dangerously, reminding Chanyeol too much of the anger his mother had displayed when Chanyeol discussed his future plans with her. He blinked back the tears in his eyes and swallowed down the knot in his throat. He shook his head and smiled, though he could feel the corners of his lips tug downward in a grimace.

 

Baekhyun brought Chanyeol to their couch, standing over the younger male with a harsh glare. Chanyeol wanted nothing more than to look down at his knees, but Baekhyun’s cold hand lifted his head.

 

“You’re mine,” Chanyeol shivered at his lover’s tone, wanting nothing more than to kiss Baekhyun even knowing all that his lover had done to him. Baekhyun sat on Chanyeol’s lap, kissing him on the lips. It wasn’t an act of love, he was attempting to coerce an answer from Chanyeol under duress with soft threats mumbled under his breath and onto Chanyeol’s lips.

 

Baekhyun pinned Chanyeol down on the couch, his tongue entering Chanyeol’s lips from betwixt his lips. Chanyeol could feel Baekhyun’s taste buds, laced with the bitter taste of alcohol that seemed to permanently linger, running his tongue over the small bumps.

 

A moan escaped from between Chanyeol’s lips, the words forming around his and Baekhyun’s tongues. A heat flowed around his body, centralizing in his pelvic area.

 

Baekhyun pushed away, shoving Chanyeol even further onto the couch. He smirked, out of breath, “You’re nothing but mine. Got that?”

 

Chanyeol, despite his euphoric state, believed it. He was Baekhyun’s. He didn’t need Sehun.

  


~~

  


Splotches of purples, blues, greens, and yellows decorated his skin like blood soaking a gauze. It sent spikes of a sharp pain through his body with every movement. Despite it, he attempted to stand before Baekhyun’s alarmingly gentle hands pushed him back down.

 

“You’re staying home,” Baekhyun stated firmly after he’d seen Chanyeol’s struggle. Chanyeol couldn’t complain, especially seeing as he could barely move.

  


**_Sehun: Yo, where are you_ **

 

**_Sehun: seriously, where the hell are you_ **

 

**_Sehun: can we meet up_ **

  


Chanyeol hadn’t checked his phone for what was likely hours, his room devoid of nearly everything. With his blackout blinds and the lack of any form of clock in his room, he couldn’t know what time it was until he checked his phone, and he was asleep for most of the day.

 

**_Sorry, I’m sick right now._ **

 

**_Sehun: Shit. really_ **

 

**_Sehun: Want me to come over_ **

 

**_No, I wouldn’t wwantnto get you sick as well._ **

 

His hands had begun shaking. He was barely able to hold the phone through the pain. His ebbing consciousness didn’t help either. He tried to ignore it and corrected himself.

 

**_*want to, sorry_ **

 

**_Sehun: Are you sure you’re okay?_ **

 

Sehun was genuinely concerned, and it scared Chanyeol. One wrong move and Sehun would’ve found everything out. He needed to stop the conversation before it inevitably happened.

 

**_Yeah, I’m positive._ **

 

**_But I have to go to sleep._ **

 

**_Sehun: alright, but if you need to talk to someone, I’m right here._ **

 

Chanyeol didn’t bother replying, throwing his phone onto the pillow right by his head despite his screaming muscles. He stumbled out of the bed, the task feeling momentous and arduous despite being something he’d done ever since he’d learnt to walk.

 

He made his way to the bathroom, opening the pill cabinet. He grabbed the small bottle of painkillers. He watched the pills drain downward until he managed to grab a single pill before the rest fell out. He hesitated. Nothing was stopping him from taking one more. Or ten more. But when he saw Baekhyun’s frame in the doorframe, he closed the cap and set the bottle down.

 

He was living for Baekhyun, after all.

 

~~

  


Chanyeol was still in love, and Baekhyun was in love with him. He thrived at the fact, understanding their relationship was far from normal. They were almost on their twelfth year of their relationship, and Chanyeol couldn’t help but to think he was falling deeper and deeper despite their time together.

 

“You still with me?” Sehun asked through the fog of thought clouding his mind. Chanyeol subconsciously ran his hand over his bruised ribs and nodded, it was almost his anniversary. He had an excuse to be extra spacey that day. When Sehun heard the news, he pulled the older male to his feet.Sehun’s mouth moved, but Chanyeol couldn’t hear him over the pain that managed to overpower the numbness.

 

“Shit, are you okay?” Chanyeol heard from above him after he had apparently fallen to the floor. The tall man grabbed onto the desktop, barely able to stand over the pain that had broken through the layer of numbness. He confirmed that he was fine as he grabbed onto the desk as if he were Jack gripping onto the side of the closet door having just jumped down from the Titanic, holding on for dear life.

 

“Don’t fuck with me. What’s wrong?”

 

Chanyeol admitted he was injured, though he hadn’t specified where or how. Sehun clicked his tongue, squinting at Chanyeol, “Is someone hurting you?”

 

Chanyeol stifled an exclamation of shock with a cough. He shook his head ,claiming that with his size, it wouldn’t happen; it shouldn’t happen. He could defend himself, after all. All the while, he was searching for any nook he could take to veer their conversation back to the caliber of their usual conversations. It was clear Sehun was suspicious, though. With a sudden sense of catatonia, Chanyeol pushed himself up and shakily walked to the door, apologizing in the process.

 

He knew how peculiar he was acting, but he couldn’t care less about what Sehun or any of his other colleagues he’d passed in the halls thought.

  


~~

  


“You’re being abused,” Sehun said so, so casually, Chanyeol nearly agreed with him with no further thought. When he actually processed it, he sputtered dumbly before shaking his head. He asked Sehun why the younger man thought it, “I’ve known you long enough to see through your sick days and bad makeup, Yeol.”

 

He wasn’t being hurt. And if he were, it was his own fault. He was an idiot, end of the story. So he answered truthfully.

 

“There is absolutely no way that’s possible, I was a teenager too, Yeol,” Chanyeol needed to think of a way to explain his bruises, though, as he listened to Sehun speak.

 

Finding as steady of a voice as he could muster, he said that he was depressed, partial truths being interwoven in the basket of lies. He claimed that actually cutting himself would leave cicatrices that he’d regret for the rest of his life and that the contusions gave him the relief he needed.

 

“Then let me go to your house. Tonight.”

 

Chanyeol was decidedly fucked. He needed to tell Baekhyun about his new plans.

  


~~

  


“What do you mean he’s coming over?” Baekhyun was fuming at Chanyeol’s sudden confession. Through his lividity, he ran his hand through his hair and frowned. Chanyeol wanted to stop Sehun, but the younger man was dead set on visiting. There was nothing he could’ve done to stop the man, Sehun was oddly assiduous with the understanding of what happened to Chanyeol, and it scared him.

 

“Tell him we’re busy.”

 

Chanyeol looked down at his phone, unlocking it before texting his co-worker.

 

**_Sorry, I just came home and my husband told me we’re busy_ **

 

**_Sehun: Really_ **

 

**_Sehun: with what_ **

 

“Tell him some shit happened at home,” Baekhyun muttered, looking over Chanyeol’s shoulder.

 

**_It’s our anniversary_ **

 

It wasn’t too far off from their anniversary, so it wasn’t exactly a bold-faced lie. He felt Baekhyun stiffen from just behind him, nodding shortly.

 

**_Sehun: Aww, that’s too bad._ **

 

**_Sehun: Then does tomorrow work?_ **

 

Sehun didn’t believe him. After all, he only said his anniversary was coming up, not that very day.

 

Baekhyun sighed, “He just doesn’t give up, does he?” it was a rhetorical sentence directed to no one else other than himself, “Tell him next week, around five-thirty.”

 

**_Sorry, but we’re free next week._ **

 

**_Come over at 5:30 if you can._ **

 

**_Sehun: sure_ **

  


~~

  


A ringing at their doorbell startled them out of their usual Saturday routine, even knowing Sehun was to show up at any moment, it took them a moment to react. Baekhyun looked to Chanyeol pointedly from his position in the kitchen as he was preparing dinner.

 

“Hey, thanks for having me,” Sehun said after Chanyeol welcomed him inside. He was holding a white box with twine wrapped around it, his fingers wrapped around the knot just over the middle of the lid. He noticed Chanyeol’s staring, and having the nerve to be sheepish, he rubbed a hand in the nape of his neck, “They’re macarons. I thought it’s the least I could do since I was so adamant on coming over.”

 

“Hi, nice officially to meet you,” Baekhyun said from behind Chanyeol, startling the tall male. He gently nudged Chanyeol to the side, rolling his sleeve down and lifted his hand for a handshake, his hands still somewhat damp after having washed a head of lettuce. The sequence was no more than five seconds long, yet it mesmerized Chanyeol as to how smoothly Baekhyun seemed to move.

 

When Chanyeol and Sehun had first met, in the awkward phase between forming a professional relationship and becoming acquaintances, Sehun never bowed once to anyone. At least not to his knowledge, which was why he was shocked when Sehun bowed politely before taking Baekhyun’s hand in his own.

 

Chanyeol bit back a cough when a silence had frozen the warm air. He introduced the two with their first names before Baekhyun quickly returned to the kitchen.

 

“It’s so much nicer here when there isn’t a good ten buzzed men storming it like the Bastille prison,” Sehun chuckled as he shrugged his jacket off. Chanyeol brought it to their closet, placing it just between the wall and another coat. He brought Sehun to their couch, and they sat in silence.

 

Minutes after, Baekhyun yelled from the kitchen and the two tall men returned to the foyer before they entered the kitchen. As they sat down, and Baekhyun set various plates onto the table, Sehun began speaking, “I’m sorry for insisting I come over, but I must admit, I was curious.”

 

“Of what?” Baekhyun asked, placing his elbows onto the table and rested his head on his hands. The nearly condescending cadence of Baekhyun’s voice made Sehun visibly tense.

 

The youngest of the three straightened in a defensive stance, his defined muscles pushing against the seams of his skin tight T-shirt. He cleared his throat, “Chanyeol’s personal life, especially after seeing his… injuries.”

 

Baekhyun arched his back in a poised manner and shared a look with Chanyeol. In an impressively uncouth yet planned manner, Chanyeol proceeded to spill his water onto the table and down to the floor as a diversion from Sehun’s words. Their stale conversation seemed to spice up after the incident. Baekhyun stood quickly to get a towel as Sehun stood to avoid a shower for only his crotch area.

 

After they’d cleaned the spill, Sehun began speaking again, “Alright, now where were we?” the question was very obviously rhetorical, yet he paused as if he were awaiting a response. It dragged on for a few seconds too long, as if he’d figured out the ruse Baekhyun and Chanyeol had set up to distract him. He cleared his throat, almost robotically, “Right, the bruises?”

 

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun responded defensively, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Despite the question being aimed to Sehun, his eyes still darted over to Chanyeol from time to time.

 

“Are you causing them?” Sehun asked after a beat of hesitation. He also shifted his gaze over to Chanyeol, making said male shrink in his seat.

 

“I’m not sure what you mean. What if I am?”

 

Sehun clasped his hands together, breathing out slowly, “You are aware that that is a federal offense, right?”

 

Baekhyun stood up, walking behind Chanyeol. He placed a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, “It’s only for our more intimate moments. Yeollie, I’m not hurting you am I?” the saccharine voice seemingly didn’t fool Sehun, but all Chanyeol had to do was prove it. Baekhyun wasn’t hurting him. It was a mantra he believed in.

 

“Then pray tell, _how in the world did you get the injuries_ ? Listen, Yeol, you _need_ to come with me,” Sehun stood as well, standing over Chanyeol’s other side. Chanyeol shook his head, he loved Baekhyun too much to leave the older male. If Baekhyun said anything, it went unnoticed by the taller men. Sehun bent down to the side of the chair, “He’s brainwashing you, Yeol. You need to get out of here.”

 

Sehun reached out to Chanyeol, who slapped Sehun’s hands away. The tallest of the three stood in a jarring fashion, that nearly knocked his cup over again and succeeded in knocking his chair onto the ground. He stood next to Baekhyun, who grabbed his hand.

 

“See, he doesn’t want to go, so if you may,” Baekhyun motioned to the door with his free hand in lieu of completing his sentence.

 

Sehun ignored the man and directed his attention to Chanyeol. He repeated himself,  “You need to get out of here.”

 

Chanyeol pretended not to hear. He knew he was fine, he thought he was. Looking in the mirror when he prepared for the day didn’t yield any alarming bruise that peeked over the collar of his shirt. He looked normal, or as close to normal as he could present himself. Which made him wonder how careless he must’ve been to let Sehun catch even the slightest glimpse of a contusion.

 

“I implore you, you have to get out of here.”

 

Sehun repeated himself like a broken record, endlessly speaking the same phrase. Desperation lined his voice with the same broken voice Chanyeol so vividly remembered from Baekhyun’s argument with his parents. It only seemed to annoy Baekhyun, “We’ll see you out, okay?”

 

The couple had booted him out so swiftly, Sehun didn’t even get the chance to process it.

  


~~

  


They woke up to the noise of blaring sirens and an incessant pounding at their door. Chanyeol wordlessly went to the bathroom as Baekhyun combed through his hair with his hands.

 

As Chanyeol covered his injuries, he momentarily forgot about the sirens and knocking. He hadn’t thought he’d looked too bad the other day, yet deep eyebags accentuated his eyes and made them stand out among his pale skin. He threw a hoodie on and drew in a deep breath.

 

He made his way down to the front door, and now heard a voice yelling, though their words were obscured by the now nearly deafening siren. He opened the door and apologized. Baekhyun appeared next to him seconds later.

 

“We have been sent here under the suspicion of domestic violence,” he looked the two up and down.

 

Chanyeol was just about to respond before Baekhyun stole his thunder, “We’re not sure what you mean, officer.”

 

The officer lifted an eyebrow, very obviously suspicious. His eyes trained onto Baekhyun, “Sir, we do not take matters like this lightly.”

 

“I’m sure you do, it certainly is a serious charge,” Baekhyun was a chronic sycophant, but it felt so familiar to his person, it felt right, “I’m sure it was a prank call or something of that sort.

 

“Is that so?” the officer asked and crossed his arms across his chest, “Then can you—,” he motioned to Chanyeol, “—remove your hood?”

 

Chanyeol looked to Baekhyun, before placing his hands to the hem of his hood. He pushed it back and it fell from his head, his hair poked up wildly. He brushed his hair back and ran his hand through his hair.

 

The officer remained silent, so Baekhyun spoke up again, “Is something the matter, officer?”

 

The man walked closer, and pressed a finger to Chanyeol’s cheek. He ran it down Chanyeol’s face and revealed an ugly purple from under the pale concealer. The officer spoke again, “Young man, can you remove the rest of this for me?”

 

Chanyeol pressed his lips together and looked to Baekhyun, who was shaking his head. He claimed he had run out of makeup wipes and that he was just about to go out to purchase more.

 

“Right,,” he said suspiciously as he scribbled something on a notepad and stepped back, wiping his hand onto his pant leg. It left a pale streak on the dark pants, “So, what’s your relationship with each other?”

 

“We’re married,” Baekhyun responded for Chanyeol.

 

“Young man, is that right?” the question was directed to Chanyeol, who nodded curtly.

 

He scribbled more into his notepad, his glare at his notes sent shivers down Chanyeol’s spine. The policeman cleared his throat with a sigh. He clicked the end of his pen and placed it in his pocket. He aimed his question at Chanyeol, “Is he hurting you?”

 

Baekhyun was shaking his head in Chanyeol’s peripheral vision. Chanyeol said Baekhyun wasn’t. The officer frowned, but didn’t say anything about it.

 

“Okay then, have a nice rest of the day.”

  


There was a short span of peace as the various automobiles left. Even though the officer suggested Chanyeol hop into the back of an ambulance to get his injuries looked at, he refused. He was fine, he claimed he’d fallen head first into a wall in a drunken stupor.

 

Baekhyun spoke up after he was positive none of the firefighter or policemen remained for an excess amount of time. His lips were pulled thin in a taut line, “What the hell was that?”

 

Chanyeol shrugged and busied himself with the strings of his hoodie. Baekhyun slapped his hand and grabbed onto them so tightly, a tourniquet would’ve been jealous, “This is why I told you not to talk to him!”

 

A white-hot, searing pain made him snap his head down to his hand where Baekhyun was squeezing. He felt his bones grind against each other, nearly cracking under the force. After an excruciating few seconds, Baekhyun released his grip. He sighed before getting up, “They’re going to be after our asses, so let’s go.”

  


~~

  


Just barely even a week through their twelfth year of being together, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were separated. Baekhyun ran off to somewhere in Japan, leaving Chanyeol in South Korea. The younger wanted to be by Baekhyun’s side, but the scruples of leaving to a country where he couldn’t even speak its native language and had to quit his very adequately paying job for were too astronomical for him to ignore.

 

Baekhyun scoffed at Chanyeol, but continued to pack his bags. Baekhyun left without another word. Not even a last “I love you” before they split paths.

 

The home was deafeningly quiet, which made Chanyeol finally process the weight of the situation. He was completely alone. For the first time in over twenty years he was completely and utterly alone.

 

He was sitting on his couch, staring blankly at the television and the child’s cartoon that was playing until there was a knock at the door. It couldn’t have been Baekhyun, even if the voice in the back of his head was hoping it was. Baekhyun was the only thing that could’ve pulled him from his rut, even if he knew it couldn’t have been him.

 

“Hey, how are you?” Sehun asked with a pep in his step after Chanyeol opened the door. Chanyeol did not reflect the same gaiety and frowned. The jovial tone disappeared, “What’s wrong?”

 

With a sigh, Chanyeol opened the blinds, which had been closed from the night prior, and allowed the light to pour into his dark and dre home. It’s an alarming shift, the sunlight peeking out from a layer of clouds seemed to reflect off the pristine white walls. He turned back to Sehun moments later, his good hand fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater that covered his bad one. He asked if Sehun was the one to call the cops even though he knew the answer.

 

“Duh, he was hurting you! Look at you. Don’t think I can’t see that,” he pointed to Chanyeol’s hand to which Chanyeol his the hand behind his back in a way only young children who were caught breaking or stealing something did. It was futile.

 

“Here, just let me look at your injuries,” Chanyeol refused, but Sehun seized his injured extremities before he could even hide them from the man.

  


“So, what happened? Do we have to go to trial, or..?” Sehun asked as he attached an ice pack to Chanyeol’s hand with a gauze. Chanyeol refused to believe Sehun’s repugnant statement, still believing Baekhyun did nothing wrong. He stated that Baekhyun was still free roaming and that Sehun should stop worrying so much.

  


Sehun stayed over for the night as an attempt to make Chanyeol forget about Baekhyun’s absence. Yet, Baekhyun left a void, a black hole which could not be filled.

  


~~

  


Their thirteenth anniversary came and went. As did their fourteenth. On their fifteenth, however, Chanyeol received a cryptic invitation. And within days of his thirty-first birthday, he was flying over to the United States, equipped with nothing but oddly specific instructions as to what he had to do, but without a single reason to do so. But he trusted it, he didn’t know why, but he trusted it.

 

He arrived at the venue in a black tuxedo, shifting uncomfortable on the balls of his feet as he waited like a petulant child standing in a long queue at a store.

 

Once he’d gotten in, he sat at a table. It was the only table that had nobody else sitting on any chair that sat around the edge of the table. He felt dreadfully out of place, even with several men dressed in similar attire to him. He was foreign to this type of situation, a very obviously formal party.

  


~~

  


He swished the wine glass, which was handed to him some time after he’d arrived, in his hand. He tapped his feet impatiently, still unsure as to why he was even there.

 

He found the reason sooner than he thought. Baekhyun stood before him, several feet away. Despite the man’s very average height, Chanyeol managed to spot him perfectly. Baekhyun made his way over, seeming much more subdued than Chanyeol had ever remembered. Baekhyun’s gentle, downturned eyes struck something in Chanyeol and he couldn’t help but to approach the shorter man.

 

The older wore a gentle smile that tugged at the beginnings of crows feet that framed his eyes in a crescent moon shape.

 

“Chanyeol, it’s good to see you again,” his voice strained to get heard over the chatter that had begun to seem just a bit too loud. Chanyeol led them outside, and let Baekhyun continue, “I’m sorry for leaving all those years ago. It was a shitty thing to do.”

 

The conversation came to a pause, akin to that of a car coming to a short pause before proceeding again. Baekhyun spoke again, “I managed to escape getting caught, but I realized I can’t just stop loving you, no matter what I do.”

 

“Me… me neither,” Chanyeol tried.

 

They talked and they talked, as if they’d forgotten all about what had happened in their past. From an outsider’s perspective, they appeared to two strangers that managed to hit it off well, yet the guise hid many secrets that no one but a few people back in Korea knew.

 

“I see you haven’t taken the ring off yet,” Baekhyun pointed out.

 

“Neither have you.”

 

Chanyeol lived by the idea of “forgive and forget,” and so he did. He forgot about the bruises that were nearly black in color, and forgot about the occasional cut that seemed to bleed for hours and the sickening crack of bones snapping harshly. Before their lips even met, he forgave Baekhyun for leaving him to deal with everything alone. He forgave the man for the crippling loneliness he had to face afterwards. He forgave the man for everything that didn’t happen.

 

He didn’t want to think of any future changes that might’ve happened. He was happy and didn’t want to think otherwise.

  


**Author's Note:**

> around 28.5 percent of men have, as according to the national domestic violence hotline states, experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner. it's in no way exclusive to women, but it doesn't mean it's not a prevalent issue either. with the rise of romanticizing abusive relationships, it becomes more pertinent than ever. 
> 
> the most helpful page for reporting domestic abuse i've found is the wikipedia article. it's simply the most accessible place to find hotlines, albeit limited. i'm sorry if it comes off as disingenuous.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines 
> 
> in this story, chanyeol is meant to be silenced, not idealized for being in an abusive relationship. i'm sorry if it comes off that way, it's in no way my intention. i've edited both this note and the actual story, hopefully it's a bit more realistic.


End file.
